All of What I Fear

Annika Kheav, Staff Writer

Senior year is filled with anxiety, preparations, and many tears. We are bombarded with so many tasks and are expected to know what we want to do at a young age. We fear everything like not getting accepted to colleges, failing our classes, missing deadlines and breaking our goals. Senior year is stressed as ever, and I can’t keep up!

What college do you want to go to?

How are your grades?

How is your college apps going?

What major do you want to pursue in?

Have you written your personal statement?

Enough! I’m afraid of what the future holds for me after senior year. I’m a student-athlete and I fear that one day, I will not be able to play the sport I love. I’m afraid all the countless hours, days and years I’ve put into playing volleyball will just vanish as if it never happened and it’s scary to know that one day, I’ll stop playing it the way I do now. There is going to be no more playing with my teammates, no more cheerful crowds, rivals, and games. I’m scared. Also, I fear who my real friends will be. It’s true what they say, how in freshmen year you’ll have many friends, but when senior year arrives, you’ll know who your true friends are. I’m scared to see how far a friendship can come to an end because of distance or lack of communication. I believe my friendships helped shape me to the person I am today and although it is heartbreaking to lose a friend, I’m okay with it because it is bound to happen.

I fear rejection from my dream colleges. I think about how, I am competing with thousands of other applicants and I feel pressured that my grades won’t make the cut for their requirements or that my personal statement won’t be good enough. I’m nervous, yet excited to see what college will take me and which will reject me, but at the end of the day, I know whichever college I go to will be a great experience for me.

All I can hope for is the only best and that my hard work will eventually pay off. Every senior I know can agree that we are ready to leave high school and to walk across the stage to we proceed on with our lives, but deep down inside we’re all scared to be adults. I can’t imagine no longer having homecoming, Friday Night Lights, spirit weeks, class bonding activities and absolutely anything that made my high school years memorable. I hear many alumni say they miss their high school days and I believe them because I already feel like I’m losing touch with high school and all the great memories I had as a freshmen, sophomore and junior because now I just have to focus on senior year and my future plans.

I love being a cardinal, but now my days are coming to an end as I get closer to graduation. Seniors don’t have much time left until the day comes where we are set free from high school. Time does fly by fast and all I can say is I’ve had the best years of my life in high school. I don’t regret anything I did but I do wish I could of done more. So in June when they ask, “What College are you attending?” Let’s hope we are all less stressed compared to now.